One of the reasons why I so far have felt that I am on a longer trip to Germany rather than having moved from Stockholm must be that I have not really moved in anywhere else. I have not unpacked but lived from two, three suitcases, I have not put up pictures, the china is not mine. Sometimes I think in some weeks time, I will just return to my little corridor room on Gärdet.

I have also not built any kind of routine (apart from choir practice) because I am so busy surviving my German battle for housing, work, insurance. I cannot navigate the supermarket-geography yet because I only live here and there for a month during which I had to cook only once. (Yesteray I spent half an hour looking for the Penny supermarket and gve up at the end.) I have pretty much no idea about the museums, or the clubs, I would not recognize the closest gym if I walked by and I do not know which park to hang out at in the unlikely event of sunshine. Everything has postponed to the life period when I have settled in. And during the last months, I thought that period would never come. Basically, I am still a complete stranger.

But now I am preparing my Exodus from the Swedish ghetto, I dare to live on my own in a whole new area. Nothing is ready, I will live without internet, without a decent bed, and with walls I still have to paint, for a while. But I will live there. Like for real and for an unlimited period of time if I wanted to. Bit by bit, I will get my own furniture in there – I will actually live in my own place! This has not happened for years. I wonder if I will even be able to handle it.

When I came from work today, I threw all my stuff into the suitcases without any logic and then Ingrid’s boyfriend Thorsten came to pick me up with the car and carried all my stuff two floors down and then three floors up again. He already picked me up at the central station last Sunday and carried my bags which is why we have dubbed him TKT (ThorstenKofferTjänst, a crude German-Swedish name), and I can tell you TKT is the best service in all of Hamburg!

When TKT left me at the new apartment I looked around and thought, “Jaha, am I supposed to live here now?” It is not without sentimentality that I leave the church, actually. But I put up my picture of Uppsala and decided that: Yes, this is where I live now.


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