Guest Post: True friendship is waiting for someone else’s Telekom-Mann

I am sad to say that there is right now nothing that works in my life and instead a complete list of crap going on. I am seriously on the edge of reason (you can ask my mother who gets to hear it all) and my resilience to turn the crap into ironic posts is exhausted. Luckily, there is Ingrid who can even make the Telekom-Mann-incident (or non-incident?) sound funny. Also, I am going to scream at Tele2 on the phone tomorrow during my 12th (no kidding) phone call to them.

Voila Ingrid’s first guest post!

I’m doing something Helen suggested a long time ago…I’m writing in English. Thanks to many clicks from abroad and since I’ve always followed her advice. Even though I’m risking even more typos than in German I’ll give it a try. So here you go. I’m automatically happier using English anyway. English, the language of comic relief, the language most of my friends speak and the language of gerunds, my favorite grammatical construction. Wait what, you don’t have a favorite grammactical construction?

So apparently my previous blog posts are deceiving people into thinking I have an awesome life. Yesterday a comedy fellow even claimed my life was dope like Kanye West dope. I’m sorry about that. So let me assure you: no it ain’t dope. Not at all. Yes, I’m doing what I enjoy: music, arts and being on stage but it can be tough from time to time. Tough in like when your dj equipment breaks and you start singing instead. Tough in like when the audience doesn’t laugh at you but at someone else’s lame jokes. Also tough when the art connoisseur says about your favorite handmade painting “well if you take down the paint at least it’s wastepaper”.

As a proof of how undope life can be take this day for example. As I’m writing these lines I’m sitting in Helen’s apartment waiting for the Telekom-Mann for the past 7 hours. Since Helen has to be at the office I took my work to her place waiting here for him since 8 in the morning. So who’s the Telekom-Mann? Basically a technician to set up your internet. To be more precise he’s rather a mythical creature whose presence cannot be perceived and whose arrival cannot be foreseen. He usually emerges when you’re not home or in the shower or when I’m waiting for him like today. He is similar to the DHL-Mann, another mythical creature who’s hard to grasp delivering packages! But at least the DHL-Mann leaves a note where to pick up your package. You cannot pick up the internet. I didn’t even dare to go outside for coffee. There’s still no Internet, sorry Helen, I tried my best. Later tonight I will go to my swedish choir practice which is not that of a dope thing I could impress Kanye with either. There’s hope for no more lame blog posts though: Tomorrow I will be playing a show in Bremen. The city of Beck’s beer and Bremen’s Town Musicians (basically 4 outcast animals forming a band standing on each other’s back enjoying their sunset years. I do love gerunds.).


The post first appeared on today.

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