I time-travelled

If you wondered how many ways there are in German to say I love you, here is a list of all (?) dialects!

If you wondered how many ways there are in German to say I love you, here is a list of all (?) dialects!

You never miss the water until it’s gone, they say. Do you miss the internet when it’s gone? Maybe. But I can report that I have found great ways to entertain myself the pre-1998-way. (For those who are born in the 1990s and thus do not remember: before 1998, people did not have internet at home.)

The entertainment is of course mostly working because Ingrid is here and she must not move out before Tele2 switches on my router again. I know you are dying to know what to do in case your internet fails. It is kind of like having a full black out because internet equals television, telephone and communication tool, at least in my house. So what do I/we do now? First, I work late. Not only do I have enough to do, it also increases the number of hours people can reach me via Facebook. Then, when I eventually go home, I max out the radio fee by listening to the radio. There is lots of stuff on there, I can tell you. I heard parts of the new opera that they play at the Hamburg opera (it’s Verdi, it’s “Luisa Miller” and I had to turn it off, too much screaming), I learned during a radio feature how “Dialogue in the Dark” was invented and of course I follow “Ohrenbär – Kleine Geschichten für Kleine Leute” (“Ear Bear – Little Stories for  little people”). Imagine me sitting there with my tea and the radio. That is not only pre-1998, it’s kind of 1959.

I also cook pea soup (with way too much celery), write letters (no emails, obviously) and I declutter my wardrobe. I read a long interview with Peter Sloterdijk, one of Germany’s most important philosophers, and highlighted everything I found particularly interesting. When would I be able to do that if I had the opportunity to watch my new favorite series on Netflix or listen to a new song on Spotify that a friend sent me? Never!

The most enjoyable activity is of course the refreshing sofa talks with Ingrid. She sits on the green sofa and I sit on the white sofa. We have been talking almost all night for some weeks now so we have worked through some topics. By now we can tackle the big global themes. Like “Is there a correlation between big popular city and crappy university?” (There is not, we figured, when we remembered Munich has the best German university.) We spend hours talking and drinking tea each night and yesterday, I pulled out all my favorite children’s books out of the shelf and informed Ingrid why this one, or maybe this one, and also this one, is the best one.

Like Ingrid said, “If the internet only knew how much fun we’re having without it!”

Last week I told Ingrid I am considering to do a Facebook-detox. I was probably unconsciously asking for a pre-1998-life. Thanks to Tele2’s non-service this is now possible and there is not even a time limitation. It might go on like this forever. Brilliant. Thanks, Tele2. Thanks, Frank.

P.S.: You are confused because you can still Whatsapp me? My internet on the phone still works, at the speed of half a facebook page per minute.

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